


Goodbye, see you later

by Katseester



Category: Tsuritama
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-13
Updated: 2015-02-13
Packaged: 2018-03-12 03:59:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3342836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katseester/pseuds/Katseester
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Natsuki is leaving for America, and Yuki is tired of saying goodbye.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Goodbye, see you later

**Author's Note:**

> Season 2 when?

Yuki is getting tired of saying goodbye.

The first time he said it was when he was small, when he didn't know that 'goodbye' didn't also mean 'I'll see you later.' He remembers a little boy disappearing into his mother's car, remembers the rumble of the engine on the old, beat-down thing as it coughed itself to life, remembers the acrid smell of exhaust and the sun being too bright in his eyes and the chipped paint on the back bumper. He doesn't remember the little boy's face, or his name, but he remembers crying because he didn't understand; why wasn't his friend in school anymore?

Kate has always told him that goodbyes are something that everyone goes through.

He's said it so many times in his life that he's lost count of it, lost its meaning, mouthing the word to a sea of faceless people he doesn't know and who don't care to know him.

He's tired of saying goodbye.

"I'm leaving for America next week," Natsuki tells him on a sunny afternoon surrounded by the cheerful chattering of students. "To study abroad." He doesn't look up from his meal to see if Yuki is even paying attention.

Something inside of Yuki twists, quite painfully, and he thinks it might show on his face for an instant before he schools it into something resembling a smile. He knew this was going to happen, and yet -

"Oh," he says, hoping his eyes don't look too strained. "That's great."

Natsuki's mouth turns down into a grimace and his brow furrows, and he stops picking at the food he hasn't eaten. "That's it?" he says, pushing the box away perhaps a bit more forcefully than needed. "You're not going to - to ask me _why_ , or why so soon, or - or _anything_?"

"I - " Yuki stops short here, and Natsuki's gaze shoots up, staring at him, angry and hurt, and Yuki doesn't know _why_ , why Natsuki would be angry at _him_ when he's the one leaving.

He wants to retort, wants to be angry right back at Natsuki, but he can't find the words for it and is left gaping soundlessly.

"Yuki, I - "

The bell rings then, cutting off whatever it is that Natsuki meant to say, and he sighs, dropping his angry, hurt gaze, gathering his things and heaving himself upright.

"Sorry," he says tersely before stalking off, not once meeting Yuki's eyes.

\---

Kate doesn't need to ask what's wrong; she takes one look at Yuki and busies herself in the kitchen for a few minutes, approaching him with a mug of tea where he's flopped, face-down, on the sofa.

"I have to say goodbye to Natsuki," he tells the floral pattern on the couch's arched back. "We got in a fight about it. I - "

He's already said goodbye to Akira, and to Haru, and he's had enough.

Kate's hand is warm on his back, and he hears the clunk of the mug being placed on the end table nearest his head.

"I think," she says, thoughtful and slow, "that Natsuki might feel the same way, don't you?"

When he gets a good look at her face she's smiling, small and soft. "Don't forget your tea," she reminds him, and then she's gone, clearing space on the counters for dinner.

\---

They try to apologize to each other at the same time, both stuttering to an awkward stop to let the other continue and laughing nervously when neither does.

"It's because I'm going to miss you," Natsuki says in way of explanation, staring hard at him even though his face is dusted pink across the cheeks. _And I want you to miss me too_ , remains unspoken, but Yuki gets the gist of it, he thinks. "It didn't seem to me like you felt the same way so I...I overreacted. I'm sorry."

Yuki feels the heat rise to his face, tries to force it down, but in the end it's useless; he's red as a tomato and struggling through the sudden blankness in his mind to find something to say that doesn't sound forced or lame.  
He didn't feel like this when Akira left, or Haru.

"But I'm really going to miss you," he blurts out, recalling the twisting, hurting feeling in his stomach from yesterday, and his voice rises uncontrollably to the last syllable. He chokes a bit, feels like he's going to strangle himself with his own tongue.

Natsuki smiles, small and pleased and embarrassed, and Yuki ducks his head because it's directed at him.

He thinks, in that moment, that kissing Natsuki would be nice.

He thinks, in that moment, that that would be a horrible idea, because Natsuki is leaving for America in less than a week.

\---

He thinks to himself, tossing and turning and tangled up in his thin blanket, that falling in love with Natsuki was probably a terrible idea, because behind the icy exterior he seems to have built up around himself in front of strangers (not unlike Yuki's own awkward, screaming front that he can't seem to shake when it comes to people he doesn't know) Natsuki is kind and caring, and he smiled warmly when Yuki reeled in a particularly large catch, uttering soft praise that made Yuki's face burn right to the tips of his ears and adopt a ridiculous expression of embarrassed pride.

He doesn't like thinking about his feelings, because thinking about his feelings means actually trying to understand what they are and where they stemmed from, and it gives him a migraine that can last for days if he lets it.

Still, it's not exactly something he can _control_ , and when Natsuki brushes against him in the hallway the next day his heart jumps into his throat at the contact, and he has the sudden urge to reach out and grab hold of Natsuki's hand if not for every other student in the vicinity.

Perhaps it's because the reality of Natsuki leaving is finally sinking in. Maybe it's just hormones.

He tries to tell himself, over and over again and without much success, that he's not in love with Natsuki, because being in love with Natsuki would be a terrible idea.

He spends the next week sending Natsuki small, furtive glances, wondering _why him_ and _why now_ and getting entirely too worked up about it.

And then, all too soon, he's standing at Natsuki's doorstep the eve of his departure, and he can hear the sounds of a party inside and wonders if he can leave without introducing himself in the first place.

He tries to enjoy the party but he just can't - there's too many people and they're making so much _noise_ that he finds himself perched on a seat in the corner of the room nursing a mug of juice and trying not to stand out too much.

"Come with me," Natsuki says quietly into Yuki's ear while his father is trying to balance a bottle of beer nose-down on his forehead. Yuki almost jumps out of his skin. "I need to tell you something."

Yuki asks what it is that Natsuki can't tell him here, but Natsuki is already halfway out the door and doesn't hear him.

Natsuki is waiting for him just outside, sitting on the steps, staring at nothing. The sun is setting and Yuki wonders if this goodbye will be final. He thinks about the little boy and the coughing car and the sun in his eyes. He takes a seat beside Natsuki.

A long moment passes where neither says anything.

Yuki almost asks again why Natsuki has brought him outside, away from the people, but Natsuki opens his mouth so Yuki claps his shut.

"I love you," he says shortly, looking at Yuki's hands, his shoes, his shoulder, anywhere but his face.

Yuki is frozen, staring blankly, mouth hanging open and hands useless at his sides. "Oh," he says. "Oh, I..." He finally looks away from Natsuki, down to the side, to the dirty concrete below them.

Natsuki grimaces, something that almost looks like a self-deprecating smile but just comes across as sad. "It's getting late," he says, glancing over to the sun on the horizon. "They'll be wondering where we've gone off to. We should be getting back."

He stands and turns to leave, still looking anywhere, _anywhere_ but Yuki's face.

"Wait - Natsuki - " Yuki catches his wrist. "Wait, I - " He flounders here; doesn't know what to say, how to say it, and after a moment of hesitation Natsuki turns back around, frowning slightly, wrist still caught in Yuki's grip, not daring to hope, to believe that maybe -

Yuki doesn't know what to say, or how to say it; he feels the water lapping at his feet, knows that if he doesn't spit it out _right now_ that it will rise and drown him. It should be easy. Three words, maybe four. But he tries and he can't get them out; they're stuck in his throat and threatening to choke him.

He doesn't know how to say it, so when Natsuki turns around he hesitates, just for a moment, before jumping to his feet, lurching forward and kissing him. He realizes that he's still holding onto Natsuki's wrist and lets it go immediately, but Natsuki catches his hand instead, drawing him closer, tilting his head and bringing up a hand to clutch at the nape of Yuki's neck.

"I love you," Natsuki says again against his lips before pulling back in for more.

Natsuki is leaving for America tomorrow morning, and he loves Yuki.

\---

"How are you?" Natsuki asks him, and his voice is a little crackly over the phone line. It must be early there - Yuki has just gotten home from school.

"I'm okay," Yuki says, cradling the phone on his shoulder and pulling his books from his bag. "A little lonely," he admits, face colouring slightly even though he knows Natsuki can't see him. "How was your flight?"

He's already asked this over text, and Natsuki had replied that it was long, but he wants to hear it from Natsuki's mouth.

"It was okay," Natsuki says, and Yuki can just barely hear the sleepy catch at the end of his sentence. "Long. Kind of boring. The movies weren't so great."

Yuki smiles down at the math textbook in front of him. "I miss you," he says softly.

"It hasn't been that long," Natsuki protests, but then, quietly, "I miss you, too."

Yuki chuckles as he starts on his homework, and Natsuki draws in a breath on the other side of the world.


End file.
